This is an ancient Chinese story about a girl named Lily who was married to a handsome young man. When a girl in ancient China was married, she usually lived with and served her husband and mother-in-law. So when Lily was married she went to live with her husband and mother-in-law, as days passed by she found that she could not stand the daily criticism of her mother-in-law. There was always some misunderstandings and always Lily and her mother-in-law used to quarrel. This became a big problem to Lily's husband who couldn't bring peace between them.
One day Lily decided to do something. She went to a herb store and talked to the owner of the store, who also happened to be a friend of her father. “Mr. Wong, I cannot stand my mother-in-law’s temper any more. She has driven me crazy. I wonder if you can help me secretly, as a best friend of my father, and I will pay you well.”
“What do you want me to do?” Mr. Wong replied. “I wonder if you could sell me some poison which I can use to poison my mother-in-law, and solve my problem” She asked. After a long time, Mr Wong replied “Sure, I can help you. However, you must understand two things”.
First, you cannot poison your mother-in-law in a quick way. People will notice that and realize what you have done. I must give you some herbs which will kill her slowly without being noticed. Second, in order to avoid suspicion, from now on you must control your temper, learn to respect her, love her, obey her, and serve her patiently. Do these things and nobody will suspect you once she dies.
Naturally, Lily agreed with what the herbalist said and took the herbs home, mixing them into her mother-in-law’s food. She learned to control her temper, to serve her, and respect her. When she noticed the change in her daughter-in-law’s attitude, her mother-in-law also changed, and started to love her in return. She constantly told her relatives that Lily was the best daughter she could ever find. After six months, the relationship between these two women had grown to be so close they were like an actual mother and daughter.
One day, Lily came to see the herbalist and said, “Please, for heaven’s sake, please save my mother-in- law from the poison I have been giving her for the last six months. I do not want to kill her anymore. She has become the most understanding mother-in-law that I could ever find.” Now she is like my own mother and I am like own daughter to her.
The herbalist smiled and answered, “Do not worry. I never gave you any poison. What I gave you was simply some herbs for nourishment. The poison was in your mind and now you have erased it by yourself.” You can see from this story that it is very easy to see and criticize the behavior and attitude of another person, while it can be almost impossible to see your own.
Many times you will find that once you have changed, the whole world changes with you, and you will become the happiest person in the entire world. Only those who truly love others will earn the love of others.
Scripture says as follows
Whatever you want people to do for you, do the same for them. - Luke 6:31
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. - Matthew 7:11
The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." - Galatians 5:14
If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing right. - James 2:8